I really don’t know what I was thinking, but I decided that a trip to the Los Angeles Zoo was needed. I haven’t been since Gunnar was only a few months old, and I knew the kids would really enjoy it. And I figured if I did it now I could avoid going in summer where it will be 243 degrees and all the poor animals will be asleep. I also figured since I can handle all three of my children so well by myself, that I should add to that number. I took another little boy with us, but he’s 8, so he’s practically an adult.
Between my gang and the two other families we were meeting, we totaled 10 kids, 4 adults. Fortunately one more showed up but it was kind of a replacement parent so we still had the same ratio most of the day. And my ratio was the worst, 4 kids, 1 adult. But I enlisted our 8 year old for help. He was great at map reading, we only got turned around like 11 times. And he was good at watching Greta while I took Sawyer to pee, much better than my husband was able to do at Disneyland a few weeks ago.
Getting there was a piece of cake and everyone cooperated while we got tickets, bathrooms had to be a first pit stop and then we were off. I honestly think my kids had just as much fun at the zoo as they did at Disneyland. I think they really felt at home. And I have never been so comfortable being somewhere with all my kids than I did at the zoo. Go figure. They loved seeing the alligators, flamingos, sea lions, elephants, camel, gorillas, zebras and Spider City was a big hit with everyone but Greta. She could’ve skipped that one. The petting zoo was great, but all we could pet and brush were the goats, and you can only brush a goat for so long. The 6 week old baby giraffe was a favorite and one Greta is still talking about.
Of course I have to be food prepared, and brought a ton of snacks and even our lunch, remember how much I despise park food? We went an entire day from 9am to 4pm and my kids had no meltdowns, not a single tear, so I was very proud of them. Greta was only so good about sitting in her stroller. For a couple of hours it was musical strollers and all 10 kids went from person to person and stroller to stroller. Greta also insisted that when she took a nap it had to be on my shoulder, while walking and pushing our stroller and keeping track of wandering Mr. Sawyer. I tried the whole transfer thing several times, but it wasn’t working, so I just figured this could be my workout for the next year or two. I only heard one or two complaints from Gunnar about walking the whole time, which I swear must’ve been 5 miles at least. Sawyer was a trooper and never said a word about how tired he was once.
This is the place I got my pee in the face event. We just finished at the park area and we’re ready to make the trek back to the car. As we’re rounding the bend of the elephants I see Sawyer grasping at his parts and I ask if he has to pee. He usually responds with a quick no, but this time he screamed YES! The fact that he was admitting to me he had to pee meant that we only had a few mere seconds before urine would trickle down his legs. I consulted my map navigator who informed me that the nearest bathroom was about 4 fingers away from where we were, which meant a long way. So I remember I had some sample cups in my stroller from the candied almonds sampler station on the way in. I grab them and we all walk over to a wall near the trash can. The boys set up guard with their map and hats and arms out and I am in a desperate hurry to pull Sawyer’s shorts down and I realize that the tie on his shorts is in a knot. I am working as hard as I can, but the drawstring is squeezing his stuff pretty tight and he thinks just because he actually sees his stuff that that means he has the go ahead to let it fly, meanwhile he is pointing directly at my eyeballs. I do not realize that he is going to pee and I am more concerned at aiming the tiny sampler cup in the right spot. Let me tell you I got shot in the face, eyes, nose and hair with so much pee, I was dripping! I know you’re all screaming and your mouths are at the floor, but you have to know that urine isn’t that bad. In fact it’s so acidic that it’s not dangerous or going to make you sick. Trust me I’ve been through worse bodily fluid emergencies then this. In fact, I had to smile because this only happens to me, right? At this point I am trying to rub the sting out of my eyes and finally have him pointing down and I realize that the little sampler cup is not going to cut it. We are overflowing the sampler cup and I am taking the cup and chucking it at the wall and he’s refilling it and I’m chucking it at the wall and so on and so on. You’d think I was smart enough to just go ahead and let him pee on the wall since that’s pretty much what is happening as I throw all his urine on the wall. But no. . .we do about 5 refills and then he’s finished. Gunnar then asked why I dumped water on my head, um. . .yeah. . .not water. I grab a Wet One wipe and proceed to wipe my pee drenched face and hair and we were off. There you go, I’ve been peed on, and not with the sweet breastmilk that newborn boys pee on you with, but with the pee that has just been generated by the large Cherry Icee he just drank an hour ago.
They all crashed in the car, all but Greta who had taken a nice snooze on my now aching shoulder.
Here are a few of the highlights from our trip.