No, not the show. My mole. A real mole. Actually, 2 of them. I have inherited a not so wonderful gene from my father, along with the ‘we don’t know what eye color you have, so just call it hazel gene’, and that is the mole gene.
The mole gene blesses you with really cute beauty marks when you are born and in the first few years of life. And then you get some larger beauty marks that aren’t so beautiful. These are moles. One or two can sure be sexy. But with them also pose some not so sexy traits, like melanoma. A few years ago I had a mole on my stomach, which my mom and sister both share as well, removed. Along with one on my shoulder and one on my chest. I figured this was enough to appease my mother and her family. They hate moles, and with it the threat of death. Yep, lots of people die of moles, especially at my age.
In recent months however, my Nana began to badger me about two moles on my back. Aaron likes to refer to one as my third nipple. And although he affectionately refers to it as that, he was always scared by them as well. I don’t think moles are so common in his white and pink heritage. Honestly, not a day went by where my Nana wouldn’t call me about getting rid of my moles. I would tell her, ‘Nana, I have had them my whole life, they have not changed, there is nothing to worry about’. That was not satisfactory to her, and after a few months of these ‘talks’ I succumbed to the pressure and made the appointment to get them removed.
I made it conveniently for the same time as Sawyer’s 4 year checkup. Killing 2 birds with 1 stone is very convenient for me. And I figure if by chance Sawyer was due for a vaccination he would take great joy in watching the doctor knife me with a scalpel first. As soon as the other children got wind of what the doctor would be doing to me, well, they begged to come. I guess I didn’t realize quite how exciting it is for them to have the chance to watch mom get a medical procedure done that involves a shot of her own, a knife, and some burning skin. Yay.
Sawyer went first and no shot was needed. After his eye and hearing exam it was my turn. If anyone has ever brought all their children and that number totaling 3 or more, they understand the chaos of the doctor’s exam room and how small it seems when you have 3 kids fighting over the blood pressure machine and telling the doctor poop and pee jokes.
When they saw the cart wheel in with the instruments on it for mama, silence fell upon the room quicker than I’ve ever witnessed. Quiet ensued as he first shot me up with some numbing juice. I heard Soso yelp and assured him I was fine. Nothing like putting on a brave face for the kiddies. The next part I think took them by surprise when he used the machine to burn the flesh around the moles and then cut the moles off with a knife. Gunnar’s only response was that it smelled, and yeah, burning flesh isn’t the best smelling thing.
It made for some interesting conversation on the way home.
Greta: Mama, the doctor cut your mole off your back?
Sawyer: Yeah, I saw it. Did it hurt you?
Me: Not really. That’s why they give me the shots. And when I started to feel it hurt he gave me more medicine to numb it.
Greta: Mama. The doctor just cut the mole off.
Me: Yep. He did.
Gunnar: Mom. I’m kinda scared. I have a mole on the side of my head, am I going to have to get it taken off too?
Me: Probably not sweetie. You were born with it and we’ll watch it.
Gunnar: Okay. But I am still worried about it.
Me: If you are scared then you need to never let Nana see it.
Gunnar: (covering his temple with his hand) Ok.
The bain of my existence for the last few months is finally gone and off in 2 biopsy capsules to be tested.
I apologize in advance to you Gunnar, so far you’re the only one who got the mole gene.