My life is basically just one huge interruption. And anyone with children or many pets can attest to the trueness of those words. Unless my children are not home or sleeping it’s impossible to pee or shower or eat or read or type without interruptions.
For instance, the Magic Box is a lifesaver for me when I need to shower. They sit and are usually mesmerized for an entire 25 minute show which allows me just enough time to shower and dress and slap on a little concealer. However there are always exceptions. This morning was one of them. I had just gotten to the shampoo part and this conversation ensued,
Me: Yes, Greta, what is the problem?
Greta: Sawyer(calling him my his full name is always an indication that she is mad at him) said that I can’t play with Jessie.
Me: Well, is he playing with Jessie right now?
Me: You just have to wait your turn. Why don’t you find the Woody or the Buzz figurine instead?
Greta: NO! Those are boys. Jessie is a girl and Sawyer can’t play with her.
Me: Listen, just because Jessie is a girl does not mean that Sawyer cannot play with her. He can play with her, just like you can play with a boy one.
Greta: No, because I AM A GIRL! I don’t want to play with Woody or any boy ones.
Me: That’s fine, but Sawyer can. Why don’t you let me finish my shower and then I will help you find another toy?
Greta:(already stormed off angry)
Now I was nearing the end of my 11 minute indulgence for the day and Sawyer stomps in upset.
Me: Yes Sawyer, what is wrong?
Sawyer: Greta(sniff sniff) just said that Gunnar is not my brother.
Me: Is that true though?
Sawyer: NO! He IS my brother.
Me: Right. So why are you letting it upset you. Why don’t you understand that your sister says these things only because she knows it will make you cry. And look, it works.
Sawyer: (stomps off angry and still upset)
By now I am wrapping my hair in a towel and I hear piercing screams coming from Greta’s room.
Me: Geez you guys! What is the problem now?!
Sawyer: Greta told me that I can’t watch the movie later with her, she said it’s just for girls.
Me: Greta, that is not true. Tinkerbell is a girl, but Peter Pan is a boy. You both can watch it later, but if you don’t stop fighting you will never watch it.
Greta: I don’t want to watch it if a boy is in it.
Me: Since when? Why are you so mean about boys? We love our brothers and our daddy and they are boys. Sawyer, don’t you love your sister?
Me: Greta, do you love Sawyer?
Greta: Yes, I love you Soso.
Me: Sawyer, this would be a good time to tell her you love her and give her a hug.
Sawyer: I’m sorry.
Me: No, I didn’t ask you for an apology I just asked you to tell her you love her.
Sawyer: I’d rather just apologize.
Me: There is nothing to apologize for. Just tell HER THAT YOU LOVE HER LIKE BROTHERS ARE SUPPOSED TO!
Greta: Yeah, I love YOU Soso.
Me: Greta, be quiet. You have not been nice to Sawyer this morning. Maybe if you treated him better he would tell you he loves you all the time. Sawyer, can you please give your sister a hug?
With his head down he raises an arm and carefully glides it past Greta’s shoulders. Her response? A swift punch to his waist.
Seriously, I give up sometimes. Can’t a girl just take a shower? Is that too much to ask?