My friend had a little boy 3 months ago, and if I wasn’t so busy holding him every time I saw him I could have taken some photos of him to post. Just one word to describe him, delicious. I know it scares people everytime they see me holding him, cooing to him, smelling his head, but I tell you it’s only to get the baby crazy hunger out of my head that I do this. I cannot go down that road again. I cannot. Been there. Done that. But oh so much miss that stage. The one where they don’t talk back, the one where they don’t come to you and announce they’d like a new diaper because they have pooped in the one they are currently wearing, the age where you don’t have to lie to them to get them to preschool that morning by saying things like “it’s the law, you have to go to school. do you want mommy to go to jail?” Yes, this delicious stage of utter dependence on mama. The stage where they look at you as if there is nothing else in the world.
But don’t worry. Not going to have a fourth. I know we don’t gamble. Trust me, I don’t gamble. But there has been a wager made about me reproducing a fourth time, and the betting party will lose. Oh, yes. If for no other reason they will be paying for my family of 5 to go to Disneyland. That is reason enough to not have a fourth.
Anyways, back to the topic. This little munchkin is named Jovanni. Surprisingly, my children have no problem with me doting on this baby. Tonight I held him for over an hour and they had no qualms about it. The only time they were irritated was fighting with one another over who would get him to smile first. So on the ride home this evening there was a little conversation about Mr. Jovanni.
Sawyer: Mama, Jovanni likes you.
Me: I like him too.
Greta: He is so cute, little Jovanni.
Gunnar: Mama, can you have another baby?
Gunnar: Well then why can’t Jovanni come to live with us?
Me: Because he has a family who would be very very sad if that happened. In fact they wanted him very much to begin with and they will be keeping him for a very long time.
Sawyer: I have an idea!
Me: What’s that baby?
Sawyer: I have an idea, why don’t we trade Jovanni for Greta?!!!!!
Me: Soso, that wouldn’t be very nice. I would miss her so much. And remember Jovanni doesn’t play yet, he’s too little, so wouldn’t you miss Greta playing with you all the time?
Greta: I have an idea. Why don’t we trade Gunnar for Jovanni?!
Gunnar: HEY!! I’m the oldest and so mama would never trade me.
Me: That’s true, I don’t think I could trade Gunnar.
Aaron: Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t we trade Soso for Jovanni?
Me: Yeah, I’d miss him too.
Sawyer: I’ve got it! Let’s trade mama for Jovanni!
Me: HEY! That would never work because Jovanni likes me, who would take care of him if I were traded? I’ve got it, let’s trade daddy for Jovanni.
Sawyer: NOOOO. I like daddy.
Greta: I like daddy too.
Me: How come nobody doesn’t want to trade me?
Me: Hello?! So the final consensus is trade mama for Jovanni.
Aaron: That’s what it sounds like to me.